All is well

My patient is dying. Perhaps she is already gone, but she is young and has a strong heart. It could be days... or it could have already happened.

I've seen her for a week and a half, following from hospital to residential hospice-- it just happened that my schedule coincided with hers. I was there when her family said their goodbyes. I got a hug too, and I wanted to hold her hand, to be there with her, to be as comforting as I could... but her family was there, and it was for me to step aside and let them be nearest their loved one, even if their loved one had also become my loved one.

There was one point, after she'd been given medications to make her sleepy and comfortable, where she cracked open an eye and seemed to look at me. "It's ok," I whispered, and she shut her eye again.

Her family shooed me out, but not out of malice. I had been suffering an allergy attack all day, and it was only worsening as time drew on. Ever nurturing, her family told me to go and pick up my new allergy prescription so I didn't suffer so much the next day.

They gave us both permission to go. I wonder if she has yet.